Dear Debra Kristi – A “Dear John” Letter From Thor

Dear Debra Kristi – A “Dear John” Letter From Thor

My dearest Debra Kristi,

Oh how I miss you … let me count the ways. I miss your wonderful smile and the bubbling joy of your laughter.

Sept 6:
I am miserable without you but have arrived safely in England for my visit with CC MacKenzie. Let me tell you a little bit about that sod CC. To ease my heartache, I called her Mum, but instead of cuddling me to her breast, she told me to man-up, then forced me to pose in her greenery. You know how plants make my eyes water and my nose run. I miss your care, dearest Debra. May I call you Mum when I return home?

Oct 1:
After a long lonely journey across the vast ocean, I have reached the shores of Canada and entered Lisa Hall-Wilson’s domain where I’m fighting for my life…and my dignity. Remember the days when you tickled my tummy and called me “your boy”? Oh Mommy, dearest Debra, when will this torture stop so I can come home?

Oct 8:
From the Great Lakes to the Prairies, I’ve arrived at my next destination in time for the Canadian Thanksgiving weekend. Unfortunately, I’m stuck in a post office bin, freezing my tushie off. <sob> I’m so lonely for your arms!

Oct 9:
Am finally at the Seabrook residence. No doubt, you weep for my safe return. Serves you right! I’m sucking it up, being your brave boy and dreaming of the day when I’m once again nestled in your arms. Sheila took me to town where we got massages. Separate rooms, of course.  Even though I’m mad at you, I would never cheat on you, my dearest Debra. Goodnight, my love. Dream of me and I will dream of you. {photo deleted}

Oct 10:
My heart still aches for your smile, my dearest Debra, but this morning I woke muchly refreshed and decided I may never speak to you again. Next trip, you’re packing your bags and I’m staying home. Sheila introduced me to my new neighbors whom I’ve nicknamed Babs 1, 2, and 3. While the fireplace warmed my feet, the three Babs read me Sheila’s latest release Wedding Fever, a spellbinding tale of lost love, buried treasure, and a ghost that will steal your heart. Best story ever!

Oct 11:
Today, I wiped you from my mind and spent a lovely morning writing in quiet solitude with my new BFF Sheila, then headed out to visit with her mother who, incidentally, let me call her Mum (take that CC MacKenzie!). Mum served me milk and cookies and called me HER boy. I may never leave…

Oct 12:
Today Sheila showed me her rock quarry, in case I wanted to wield Thor’s hammer, but seeing as how it’s a wee bit nippy out there, I chose to stay inside and spend my time with Babs 1, 2, and 3. I’ve made the decision to extend my stay at the Seabrook residence, maybe indefinitely. Not that you’ll even notice I’m gone.

Oct 13:
Just time to dash off a quick note. Dear Debra Kristi, I’m in heaven and am writing to tell you that I’m moving on. Please pack my things and send them to the Seabrook residence (address enclosed). Sheila has promised to make me feel like one of the family. I’m in love!

Oct 14:
We had brussel sprouts for supper tonight, Debra. You know how I hate those green things. It’s like I’m eating feet…

Oct 15:
The men here are sissies. Apparently I’m expected to wield the vacuum with the same finesse I wield my hammer.

Oct 16:
My dearest, darling, beloved Debra … Please forgive my peevish attitude of these last few weeks and take me back.

Oct 17:
The honeymoon is over. Last night, I escaped the Seabrook house and made it as far as the corner post office. Although my box is securely taped shut, I live in constant fear that crazy Seabrook bitch will discover my betrayal and force me back home to wash her floors and dust her cobwebs. I live for the day when you and I are finally reunited.

P.S. Have I told you how much I love you? And I promise not to call you Mommy … ever!

P.P.S. I’m digging through the post office mail, searching for a U.S. stamp so I can mail myself home. I’m about to commit a felony, all in the name of our love. If I get caught, please promise you’ll come visit me in jail. Sheila will certainly give you directions.

P.P.P.S. Unable to locate the proper postage, I’m resigned to continue my journey to the western coast of Canada. But first I must hide the evidence of my betrayal. I have burned this letter along with all the other letters in the post office. I’m unharmed, thanks to my protective shield.

P.P.P.P.S. As you can see, I really didn’t burn the letter. I’m saving it in case I change my mind. For now, the mailman has arrived and saved me. North Saanich, here I come…

Your loving he-man, Thor

 

Break Out Of A Creative Rut & Happy Birthday WANA1011 Class!

Break Out Of A Creative Rut & Happy Birthday WANA1011 Class!

This post started out very simply. After a month long Write-A-Thin challenge with the RWA Women’s Fiction chapter, I ran across an interesting infographic from copyblogger.com on creativity and wanted to share it (see below).

Then I discovered that today the WANA1011 class is celebrating its one year anniversary. Rachel Funk Heller designed this beautiful commemorative plaque listing the names of all my classmates. So happy birthday to all of my WANA1011 classmates. It’s been a awesome year and it’s been a pleasure getting to know each and every one of you on Facebook, Twitter, and on your blogs.

Finally, this weekend is the Canadian Thanksgiving weekend. I want to wish all the other Canadians reading this post a Happy Thanksgiving. We’ll be eating turkey at my mom’s house and celebrating our family connections. 🙂

So now let’s get back to the creative rut infographic. My favorite part is about separating work and play. What’s your favorite part?

How to Break Out of a Creative Rut
Like this infographic? Get more content marketing tips from Copyblogger.

Every Once In A While, I Falter, Then Fall Down

Every Once In A While, I Falter, Then Fall Down

Yesterday morning, I woke up to a gray sky and an even grayer mood. I grabbed a cup of coffee, started a fire in the fireplace and sat down to write.

Nothing. Nada. Zilch. It’s not like this is anything new. All writers occasionally come up empty. But this was annoyingly familiar…

As I sat there, toasty warm by the fire, it occurred to me that I’d been mopey and sluggish and generally all around blah for quite some time now. I could feel the ideas in my head. They hovered in the dark, waiting, watching, seeking an escape route from the unchartered territory of my brain. But they were trapped…locked behind a month long diet of ice cream bars and Twizzlers.

For the rest of this post, join me at the Women Unplugged blog and tell me what foods make you falter, then fall? And what snacks or foods do you reply on to keep you and your brain in premium condition? Busy minds need help to stay sharp. 🙂

My Walls Are Flannel

My Walls Are Flannel

I subscribe to TheBookDesigner blog because I once entertained the idea of designing my own book covers. There’s just one wee problem. In the process of selecting images and putting them together, I discovered I don’t have an eye for design.

Even if I borrow the idea exactly as it is, it still looks home made…or at least, home made by me.

Yet I love to fiddle with colors and images. Even if the end result looks childish and unprofessional, I do it for my own pleasure. Or sometimes, I do it for the pleasure of pure procrastination. It’s kind of like the first draft. Nobody but me sees the mess. Plus, when I design stuff on the computer, there’s no cleanup and I don’t have to whitewash my flannel walls with a new coat of paint.

So when the latest TheBookDesigner post showed up in my mailbox, I was thrilled to discover three new tips on finding and using images.

Photopin.com is advertised as free photos for bloggers and creatives. It’s simple, easy, straightforward. It pulls data from Flickr and you can filter images based on the Creative Commons licensing.

If you don’t have image editing software like Photoshop, TheBookDesigner recommends FreeOnlinePhotoEditor.com. It’s fun, you can fiddle till you’ve procrastinated the day away.

Lastly, there’s Google images which now has a cool little camera in the search bar to help you search for images using other images. For years I’ve had the image of a grumpy creature holding a coffee cup on my computer desktop. On a poor-pitiful-me day, I pulled it from the internet and since then, have never been able to locate the source. Now, I’ve uploaded the image and Google supplied me with links so I can locate and track the owner.  Apparently it’s a popular image. If anyone knows of the owner, please email me at .

Do you love images and design and color? Or do you use them like I do, a procrastination technique masked to look like work? And what color(s) are the walls in your house?

UPDATED: There’s a new design site out there and I’m hearing some wonderful things about it! Canva’s Free Stock Photos. Just register on their site like you do with all of the other image sites, and you have access to not only images, but a whole host of design tools too. No more need for Photoshop!

When Thunder Rolls

When Thunder Rolls

I’m over at the Women Unplugged blog today, talking about last night’s storm and wondering, what both terrifies you and fascinates you?

Last night, we had a series of thunder storms pass through our area. In the middle of the night, we stood on our roof covered deck while lightning flashed around us and thunder boomed in our ears.

I don’t recall having storms like this when I was a kid. But ever since a tornado swept through our area in 1987, killing 37 people, injuring hundreds more, my awareness of storms has increased.

And I’m fascinated by them. On hot humid days like yesterday, I check the Weather Network because they almost always have a weather warning in place. And then I watch the sky.

Read the rest of this post here.

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